Two Years Ago Today...

I was entering the waters of baptism. How crazy is it that it's been two years already!?

October is a really a big month in our family. Twice, we found out we were pregnant in October (16th with Scotlyn and 24th with Londyn), I was baptized on the 9th, confirmed on the 10th. Londyn's baby blessing was also on the 10th. We were sealed on October 15th, Scotlyn's baby blessing was on the 16th and we also have a lot of family birthdays. Needless to say, it's a very exciting month for anniversaries, especially for church ordinances.

Although I meant to write about this multiple times, I never got around to putting down my baptismal story and the story leading to that special day. While I should be doing a HUGE amount of other things right now, I choose to think that this is vastly more important. ;D

Growing up, I was never committed to any one denomination. My parents were and aren't big church-goers, but they always supported my sister and I in going to church whenever we wanted to go. We always went to Methodist churches when we went, but my sister and I would lose the motivation to get up on Sunday mornings and go to church, so it was kind of an on and off thing throughout my childhood. I will always be thankful to my parents for being so open to letting us decide what denomination we felt was the right one for us. If they hadn't given this to us, I don't know if I ever would have had the guts to take the plunge.

While I was a teenager, I went to a lot of non-denominational churches with boyfriends and friends, but I never felt really drawn to it. I always went to the ones where it felt like a rock concert (vastly different from the sweet reverence of a Latter-day Saint Chapel), and walked out feeling super charged and excited,but not connected to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ like I had always thought I needed to feel. Because of this, I never stayed committed to a church.

Although I wasn't an avid church-attendee, I still maintained a relationship with Heavenly Father through prayer. I knew the basic bible stories and had my own interpretations of the gospel, but I didn't really have a direction in exactly what I felt about where I was really supposed to be. I just knew that every other church I had been to felt like a large part was missing.

I met Erik in 2007 at LifeTime Fitness and at that point, he wasn't active in the church. He was in a funk, mainly out of laziness in following the lifestyle required to do and feel the blessings of Heavenly Father. I kept asking him and asking him questions about the church and what it was about, but he obviously felt extremely uncomfortable talking about it with me. So, I moved onto asking his parents.

John and Suely were awesome at answering my questions and I would frequently e-mail his mom about things I had heard. I even wrote one of my first college research papers over Suely and the church morals. At first it was interest in church history, but it grew to a deeper yearning for knowledge.

On October 19th, 2008, John and Suely gave me my very first Book of Mormon and inscribed their testimonies of it's truth. It was the best gift they could have ever given me. After praying to know if this was real, I started reading the next day and within the first pages, I felt such a strong sense of truth. I started crying and absolutely knew that this was it. It had to be it. I felt a strong warmth growing in my chest as I read on and I decided this was what I wanted.

Less than a week later, we found out I was pregnant and all the symptoms kicked in. While it was a super lousy excuse to stop reading, I got caught up in school and sleeping as much as possible. I had terrible morning sickness with my both my girls and it got the best of me. When this happened, I stopped thinking about it and started worrying about our upcoming wedding and finishing my semester up at SFA.

I didn't return reading until a little after Londyn was born. A pair of sister missionaries showed up at the front door. At first, I was glad to see them standing there with their beaming faces. They were so excited to start teaching us about the gospel and they even shared a few lessons with us. They were shortly replaced by elder missionaries who challenged us to start praying together as a couple. <----This was the best thing that EVER happened to our marriage.

No matter what, I will ALWAYS tell you that praying saved our marriage. We weren't going downhill or anything but I hadn't really grasped that marriage was a real thing, not some high school relationship that you could just walk away from. When we argued, I still acted like a child and would get loud and hysterical. It was pretty ridiculous and petty. When we started praying together, everything changed.

Growing up, we didn't really talk about religion that much and I was really uncomfortable praying in front of Erik or even talking about anything churchy. While Erik had taken his sabbatical from church, he had lost his ability to do so as well. It was very, very awkward those first few times that we sat in bed together and said prayers. But soon, it turned into a routine. As the routine grew, so did the respect. As the respect grew, the arguing stopped and disagreements turned into level headed talking instead of screaming and crying. We did so every night and we started to grow a lot closer to each other. It was the best challenge I've ever accepted. 

We continued praying together, but I started to get scared of what people would think of me converting. I thought about it ALL THE TIME. Soon, I had decided, out of cowardliness, I wouldn't ever be able to convert. I just knew my friends would label me a weirdo and my family would think I was that "relative who became Mormon". It was absolutely ridiculous to think like this. If anything, my conversion drew friends and family to ask questions and show interest in what this meant for mine and my family's lives.

When we moved to Coppell, we almost immediately met the bishop of our new ward. He was an amazing bishop and it broke my heart when he left. He invited us to start attending church and also offered to start sending my missionaries to meet with us. We had decided that was the best thing and we started having them over regularly for dinners and lessons.

Soon, I started taking the missionary discussions and I had committed to baptism. We had some exceptional missionaries who answered every question they probably could ever imagine. I don't know where we would be without them. I owe so much of my gratitude to these men.

I'll never forget the day Erik came home from a meeting with the bishop and said he had earned his priesthood back and was cleared to baptize me. I still get chills and my heart races every time I remember the look on his face and the words coming out of his mouth as he told me this amazing news.

All of our Sanders family flew in and my family and friends were in attendance, along with a large amount of members of our ward, on the day Erik baptized me. It was such a surreal experience zipping up my baptismal suit and walking down the steps to meet Erik in the baptismal font. I'll never forget how happy he looked and how nervous I was with all those eyes on us. Erik said the baptism words and dipped me under the water, twice (the first time, I didn't make it all the way under). When I came up, Erik hugged me and we both started tearing up. It was one of the happiest moments of both of our lives.

One of the sweetest moments of my baptism, besides the baptism itself was my sisters in law and nieces singing "Amazing Grace". This song was the song my mom, sister and I always sang together late at night. My mom had sang it to me from infancy and it is still one of my very favorite songs. I've even adopted it and sing it to my kids when they wake up upset at night.

I still have the program that everyone at my baptism signed. I love reading all the messages in it. It was one of the best keepsakes I have.

Since two years ago, Erik and I have grown so much and feel closer to each other than ever. Without the guidance of Heavenly Father, Erik and I would not have made the decision to go back to school. Without prayer, we would not be where we are now and possibly not even be together. The gospel has given me everything. It is present in our home and it has given a whole new meaning to my life. I'm so grateful.